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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Is My Marriage Is In Trouble?

The very definition of a toxic relationship is codependency and addiction. When the hopelessly addicted user rolls up the spouses sleeve and gives them their introduction. There is no sleep, only the incoherent, euphoric feel of the rush in your veins. It happened yesterday to me.

Oh it was innocent at first. I hadn’t heard of the drug and asked my husband what it was. This is the man I trust, forsaking all others, for richer, for poorer, in good health, in the dark despair of sickness, of addiction. I asked and he introduced me to the fix.

So the online version of Mah-Jong is now bookmarked in the games file, with Skee Ball! It’s ancient Chinese solitaire and I’m hooked! I need to get a laptop so we can sit together and play side by side like a couple of junkies! hehe.

I actually finished a board today at lunch. Not easy to do, woo hoo for me!

We were the guest of the team last night at the Mud Hens game. We talked to our sales rep about the reception in July and checked out the party area. It’s PERFECT! There is a decent view of the field, the picnic area is covered and semi private. It’s on the main level and close to the left field gate, how appropriate for David and me. But even better, I was telling Grandma on the phone tonight, Dad can drop her off and it’s a really short walk from the street to sitting at the table in the party area and the rest rooms are right there too. I’m telling ya, this is going to be my dream reception!

I’ve never been conventional in that way. When I was in high school and girlfriends talked about the someday weddings, I never had much to add to the talk. I figured if I ever met and fell in love with the one who was right for me, we’d get married. I mean I never thought about a wedding, just if you were in love and wanted to be together it was no big deal. We’d just get married. David and I did that, as matter-of-factly as I’d pictured it would be. Yes, it was a big deal, but a very personal big deal. It was all of the romance and perfection I thought it might be way back when.

Now, we’re doing the summer reception. My dream party would definitely be a baseball party. I’m going to have the hat with a veil and David in his tux tee-shirt, our family and close friends and a double header with fireworks. Dream reception! I know if David could do a dream wedding reception, he’d have good food in an air conditioned restaurant at high noon, when the light is not good for pictures. The restaurant would be track side of tracks with plenty of trains passing by and there would be train chasing before after dinner with family and friends, including a “posse” of our close railfan friends. That’s going to be Sunday after the baseball game!

A marriage that starts as a yearlong fantasy is a sign of one that has a solid future. As for our shared “addictions?” The ones like Yahtzee, Mah-Jong, baseball, trains and each other...We can quit any time we want. We just don’t ever want to!

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