Welcome to my coffee shop in the cyber neighborhood!

Yes, I’ve been gone a while…a long while. I’ve had some other physical and subsequent mental issues. I don’t really want to talk about them. It enhances the stress and potential depression. I read an article that explains the MIA from blogging probably better than I could.

Isolation: When Our Disease Makes Us Withdraw

So whether it’s starting over or
just continuing like I was never gone…

Welcome to my coffee shop in Cyber Space
Try the pumpkin spice scones!

Contact Nani at

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Friday By Request (Sprung Forward)

Did you remember to spring your non digital device clocks ahead? I set my calendar ahead two days. So no we have Friday By Request on Sunday!

As regulars at my Cyber Coffee Shop read on my last post, I’ve had some social and mojo issues as of late. 13 jigsaw puzzles in March so far, what I do to unstress, and a bit of creative bug is back… We’ll see how I did!

Today’s request is from my Facebook page, from Chickie, one of the great wedding gifts my husband gave me. She asked for a poem about eyes, mentioning my own, with a sweet compliment. I had written a poem called Eyes in 2003 and read the poem with a music background myself, in my overnight radio voice. I asked if she’d like me to include the somewhat shocking to some who know me poem and audio after the 2019 poem about eyes. She said, “yeah, please.”

So here are my very different 2019 and 2003 efforts featuring eyes.

Eyes On The Road - Be Brave

Eyes on the road
Ears on the radio

The snow is cold and unforgiving
I should have never left
It started falling too soon
Sticking to the road less than an hour after I left
It’s like the storm is grabbing the car, pulling me back

Eyes on the road
Ears on the radio

The forecast says the snow slows down a half-hour ahead
I’m leaving for the promise of better
When I get there things will be good
It's 4am. 45 minutes ago is was supposed to be better a half hour ahead
They’re still making that same promise

Eyes on the road
Ears on the radio

Maybe I should turn around and give up
The freeway has snow, ice, semis and one little red sports car
I spent too much time with my eyes in he rearview mirror
The little sports car spins and is now facing the trucks
They give me room and I turn to face forward

Eyes on the road
Don’t look back

They keep saying it’s better ahead, but when?
I spin again and again the semis give me space to get back on track
I haven’t hit anything, is that a good sign?
I don’t think I believe the forecasters anymore
Need to make a call, it’s taking too long

Eyes on the road
Be strong, be patient

After a cup of coffee I’m back on the road
As daylight is breaking I can see how much it snowed
I’m tired, still scared, but the snow has finally slowed to gentle flakes
The road is still slick but I can see sunlight ahead
A truck passes and today the little red sports car enjoys the briny shower

Eyes on the road
It’s getting brighter

As I reach the interchange it's bright and the roads have turned to slush
It's still not fun to drive in but better than a few hours ago
Later than expected, but I reach my destination
The first stop of my long journey but things are better
I’m relieved. I’m safe. I’m glad I didn’t turn back

Eyes on the road
No matter how long it takes


Eyes peer into the darkness,

looking for a friend.
A lonely heart cries from emptiness,
will my search ever end?

Lips thirst for another's to quench them,
eyes sparkling bright.

A body hungers for passion inside it,
fireworks explode in the night.

A soul warmed by the company beside it,
things are just as they seem.

Fantasies fulfilled fade to quieting moments,
eyes drift off to dream.

Monday, March 4, 2019

I'm Sorry That Last Weekend Didn't Happen

Last WEEK was an insane week for for me.

My nurse, who takes care of me during the week, started the week with the flu. How do medical professionals gets sick? Isn't that impossible? That pretty much much had her out for the week. The feeling sick part was over and she'd come in for short stops to take care of the basics”weak as a kitten" during therecovery portion.

Add to that a sick husband during the first half of the week. David didn’t have the flu, just a REALLY bad cold. " Husbands aren't supposed to get sick either, right? No, wait, that's moms. Moms aren't supposed to get sick according to the commercial. I don't know if that's a fail as a commercial because I don't remember the product, I just remember that moms aren't supposed to get sick. Okay, I do know the truth that when husbands get sick they turn into big babies. When are husband of a disabled spouse get sick, he retreats into a sleeping and coughing shell.

So it's been a very rough week for me because it's been a rough week for the people around me.

I finally had some private time where I could actually do phone calls to go with the research I've been doing all week. After an exhausting five hours of answers that were the opposite of what I wanted to hear, Yannie, my nurse, was here for about an hour and a half. (she usually does a LOT more than nursing stuff for me) and then after she left I drifted into a semi defeated nap.

The greatest understatement I can make right now, is it my social media mojo, heck, my mojo in general, is kind of not there.

I did have a couple how long phone calls with family members, friends up in Michigan. That was good for the soul, as it always is. But right now things aren't generally fabulous for any of us. So at least for now, the two hour phone call with one of my to beloved butt kickers didn't even push me in the direction of solving my problems. She just presented me with a few more avenues to use to look for help. I'm grateful for that but it's more work, maybe better answers. I have two sisters that have been in my life for a long time, who have traditionally grabbed me by the shoulders faced me in the direction of the better choice of the ones I'm considering and kicked me in the butt to get me moving. Unfortunately what I'm dealing with right now isn't that simple. So a couple of calls felt good but it didn't inspire my creativity… Yet

Stay tuned - I'm planning to do last weekend's Friday by Request and Weekend Playlist this coming weekend.

Monday, February 25, 2019

Weekend Playlist February 24

The weekend ends when I go to bed on Sunday night. I have pills that I take at 1 AM so no day ends until after one anyway. I guess you could say my body clock is stuck in the central time zone. It's okay because I LOVE Chicago! anyway. ;)

So these were the last five songs from my library on shuffle before David left this morning at 8 AM. It's just been a crazy Sunday, so I'm just a little behind.

This weekend’s selections are courtesy of iTunes via Joey II, my current main computer, last year’s birthday gift I gave to myself. As usual, enjoy, be confused, be surprised, but please don't judge too hard.

Let Me Love You, DJ Snake featuring Justin Bieber
Devil At The Door, The Skeleton Club
When We Make Love, Ginuwine
Walk Right Back, The Everly Brothers
No Diggity, Blackstreet

There are a lot of people that seem to have a certain genre of music or certain band that is the music that just defines educational portions of their life. I know in high school I was definitely the confusing combination of loving classical music and being a heavy metal chick. I would have never made it through trade school without my country music and in the 90s R&B is what finished my bachelors degree full timewhile juggling three part-time jobs.

I liked No Diggity the first time I heard it in the car. I love the whole feel of the music but what I totally fell in love with the first time I heard the song was the term “eargasm” to describe basically a sound that will blow you away. I love the nuances and incredible ways you can use the English language to say the same thing so many different ways, but I also love being able to use that language to create words to add even more color to it. Trust me, I could put together a mini dictionary of words and phrases I use on a regular basis that if you hear anyone else use them it's because they've been hanging out with me too long. LOL. So, work with me here, keeping in mind the eclectic taste thing. First thing that came to mind when I heard that word was Ravel’s Bolero. In it's day Bolero was frowned upon by many in society because the piece was so risqué. Seriously it builds up to and finishes with a GIANT eargasm!

Every time I hear the song it brings me back to a time where a normal Wednesday was often, wake up in the morning, put together my schoolbag, make sure I have my ID badge and head to good old Tiger Stadium to be there plenty early before 1:05PM gametime on getaway day, work the jumbotron graphics and praying we didn't go into extra innings so I’d have enough time to stop at Cracker Barrel and have that meal that comes between work and school because my three hour direct marketing class was in Monroe at 7 PM. I think it reminds me most of Wednesdays because it was still bigon the radio and staple at the ballpark too.

I'll be honest. MS notwithstanding, I'm still not sure I could do what I did for two years to finish my degree now. I will tell you though, having the degree, and my three jobs that included being in major league baseball games and getting a check for it, working with Fortune 1000 executives and editing and studying the “baby picture” segments as an assistant editor for a wedding videographer which eventually inspired some of the work I did years later in my own business was an exhausting time in my life but I wouldn't trade for anything as part of my past.

I have a separate playlist that's just 90s R&B, that includes No Diggity by Blackstreet, that brings me back for a little while to the two years that were consumed by baseball, company executives public speaking education, wedding videos and that beautiful piece of paper that said I finally earned my DEGREE in broadcast communications. It truly says it's never too late to go back to school and finish. But I really do think the way that I did it, you probably should still be a younger older to do it that way.

The lyrics and the song really don't match what I was doing at the time, and yet maybe they kind of do too.. “Ain't nothing going on but the rent." Note to all women: whatever you choose to do or need to do just make sure you are the one who calls the shots. Don't ever put up with anyone standing in the way of you having the control over you.

As usual video services seemed to really clamped down on the ability to embed videos. I can probably figure out what I need to do to make that happen, but when I'm still playing the Chicago body clock card, it's really not a project I have time to take on just now. If you’d like to see the video, click on the link below the photo.

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Weekend Playlist February 17

Happy Sunday! My weeks are so busy right now that I feel like I’m working full time again, only instead of getting a paychecks, I’m writing checks. -sigh- There are two things I miss the most. I don't get to scrapbook anywhere near as much as I'd like and I don't get to blog as much as I want to either, especially during the week.

But a scrapbook page may take to a week to do a simple one, and I may only post one or two blogs a week, but at least I do get a little bit the fun part of my life. Because of the MS and several other things that I have going on in my world , I talk to nurses and psychologists from the insurance company and a couple of other providers pretty much every week or so. One of the questions that they always ask, I think it's pretty much a boilerplate question to check for depression because it's also one of the questions that they ask at Cleveland Clinic when I go in to see my MS doctors too, is "do you find that you have little interest in the things you enjoy doing?" Last week when I spoke to my case manager from the insurance company I answered honestly, "oh it's not that I don't have interest I just don't have time for the things that I really want to do."

So as it is on Sunday, here are the last five songs from my music library on shuffle: (As usual, please don't judge!)

No Such Thing As A Broken Heart, Old Dominion
We Found Love, Rhianna
Blurred Lines, Robin Thicke
This Is Your Day, 112
Video Killed The Radio Star, The Buggles

I love irony. Video Killed The Radio Star was recorded in 1979, but is remembered eternally as the first video shown on MTV at 12:01 a.m. on August 1, 1981. Do you remember when music videos were new? Do you remember when MTV actually played music videos?

Things move, things change. The Walkman, which actually came into existence before MTV, gained popularity. Remember putting a cassette in a little contraption with earphones? You could walk around, ignoring everything around you, listening to your music getting hit by a car crossing the street because you were ignoring the don't walk sign. Then it grew into a CD player that you could carry around with you. I had one of the CD players that I hooked up to the cassette player in my car so I could listen to CDs in my car. When those first came out the biggest problem was every time I hit a bump in the car the CD skipped. Eventually they made CD players that were a little more stable but by then MP3 players were coming out and cars had CD players instead of cassette players in them anyway.

In the history of the car it didn't have a radio at all and then there were AM radios, and FM radios, and then eight track players… for there is always been something to kill the last kind of star, hasn't there?

My great-grandmother and I were always very close and from the time that I turned 16 and got my license we would get together every Tuesday for coffee and sit and just talk for a few hours. I absolutely loved those nights because we just loved sharing stories. When I was on the high school radio station in 12th grade, she was just close enough to get the station in and listened to us every morning. She was tickled when every now and then my partner would dedicate a song to “Opal, one of our favorite listeners.” I did the news and had to be very careful to make sure it was accurate because I think I was her most regular source for national and local information. There were a lot of times during the 7:30am slot, I think she may have been our only listener too.

She shared stories with a smile about how the world had changed in her lifetime. When she was born they didn't even have electricity or indoor plumbing. and now her great grand daughter can drive a car to come visit her and even bring ice cream. She was in our cable area and sometimes watched my sports programming, I think mostly the end to see my name on TV. My boss, the Executive Producer, and me, the Producer on the fist page of the credits. She was alive when women won the right to vote, the 19th Amendment ratified the year she turned 14. She was a line inspector at Ford Motor Company and boasted a photo of the truck I drove for productions work for everyone to see. She saw the first Mustang come off the assembly line and wanted one of the "Pony Cars" since you first saw them. Her last car ended up being a Mustang (a cute, four-cylinder muscle car) with my mother my grandmother telling my father and grandfather “don't you dare even think about talking her out of it. No man is selling the WRONG car this time.” One of the things she bragged about with that was in the last 70 years, at the time, the women in our family had gotten stronger because we don't give up and we don't let ourselves get old.

She always smiled and reveled in the changes in the world and how most of them made life better. She is without question how I learned to appreciate changes in the world and changes in our personal lives in general. She probably has a lot to do with my interest in domestic history over learning details about wars. And don’t get old - My great-grandmother loved the old gospel and country music she grew up with. She was also a fan of REO Speedwagon.

She is definitely the source of my eclectic musical taste and I will always love her for that. My mother’s tastes were the same kind of defying the demographic. I'm the one who introduced HER to Dmitri Shostakovich and SHE played Toad The Wet Sprocket for me. My great-great-grandmother had an Elvis scrapbook because she loved his music from the first time she heard it and the family remembered quote was “That boy is definitely going to change things!” That love of current music seemed to skip a generation with my grandmother but she learned how to use a computer in her 70s, so we'll give her a pass on the music.

As I said before I love irony and then love domestic history. Video Killed The Radio Star is an important part of our culture’s musical history. Yeah now when you think about how many videos you don't see on MTV and how we put earbuds in our phones and listen to either our personal playlist or whatever RADIO station is on our music service and that kind of makes you think maybe TECHNOLOGY killed the video star.

Now of course it's very hard to find someplace that will allow you to embed a video to share it anymore. It's a silly song and not an impressive video but it's a piece of history. So if you would like to experience a little bit of history here's a link to the video:

Friday, February 15, 2019

Friday By Request 2//15/19

This week I'm sending a big thank you to Lillian and Edna for their requests for today which came in at about the same time. Edna mentioned in comments that she'd love to read some more poetry and Lillian had asked on Facebook for a poem specifically about squirrels. I'm much too happy to oblige! Since there were two requests my furrry friends get two .poems.

A Child's Camping Buddies

Camping with our grandparents in the late off-season
Always caused Papa to require with the own reason
“Better know where the nearest hospital is
‘Cause one of these days they'll bite that kid'

After a summer full of campers they were practically domestic
‘I'd sit alone on a picnic table with my bag full of peanuts
They’d gather around me enjoying their treats
Some right out of my hand, I thought that was neat

When I wasn't at the playground or catching a fish
I was back at the picnic table granting their wish
And all of my grandfather’s fears were for naught
'Cause I never once needed a rabies shot

Squirrely On CAT TV

When there's not the boring "White Show” on CAT TV
"Squirrely" is my favorite show I watch with JD
Having a giant oak tree in our front yard
Guarantees kitty and me will be watching hard

I can't see the nest from the wheelchair when I'm out
But there's one squirrel on that tree constantly happy and stout
And he'll share the tree with some others to play
There seems to be a limit, they only come up half way

On a good day we see four, five or more
Scaling that tree, and looking to explore
JD wags her tail and paces the big front "screen"
I chuckle and call her "Mamas girl" as I watch that scene

When the day gets later and they finish their playing
She can often be found snuggled across my chest laying
JD falls asleep still wiggling it seems
Chasing the squirrels in the yard in her dreams.