I Need a Break

Yeah, I know, “What? Already?” It’s just that 2011 has started off with so much, so fast!

Of course, there was the sad part, losing Kendal and then hearing about Tom on the same day. Well, you know I was a bit of a wreck. But, my faith is strong. I’ve had my personal periods of mourning, my alone time to meditate and accept. Kendal’s funeral was huge, as can be imagines for someone so young who fought so hard and inspired so many. I have experienced twice what I had long thought was the most gut-wrenching sight at a funeral, a pregnant woman crying. One carried the child of the man being laid to rest and was a good friend of mine, the other was Deanna just a few weeks before Tori and Rina were born at my Grandfather’s funeral. In both cases, my strength faded and the tears came freely. Greater than my own loss or feelings, was the pain of what the future would not have to hold.

I thought that was the most poignant example of human pain I’d ever witness until the night I was at Kendal’s viewing. At the end of the evening, a large group of her friends came two or three at a time and gathered by the casket, holding each other, heads bowed, some tears, some just holding on so tight. THAT was both beautiful and painful to watch. That show of love for Kendal and support for each other by her friends. The way it happened spontaneously. Teens are in their invincible years. When a disease can attack one of them, take her from her family and her own future, take her from her friends’ future, they are all robbed of the joy of those immortal years and forced to accept the sobering reality of mortality. I think that especially stings in me because I love teenagers. I worked with them many years at Omnicom. I think they deserve a few years of careful immortality.

I’m still reading my cousin’s posts on Team Kendal. Part to share in the celebration of her life and part to make sure he is doing okay. Love and courage are two things that grow when they are shared. Kendal derived strength from her parents and brother and gave it too. In reading the memorials on Kendal’s Facebook page, she shared that with her friends too. The family and her friends, in time, will all be okay. Guardian Angel Kendal says so!


Of course, everything good and bad all happens at once! School started the week of the funerals. This semester is all online classes, but I added to my class load, so I’m juggling and sorting files to get myself focused correctly. My XML class is assignments due every week and my Imaging class is two weeks of work due every two weeks. I have things pretty well organized now. I have to be honest, the imaging class is a little boring right now. The beginning of the Photoshop CS5 book reads like it was written for someone who’d never even seen an Adobe interface before. If I had bought the software and the book to help me learn the new tricks since Photoshop CS, the most recent one I have on my Mac, I’d have skipped the first few chapters and gotten right in to the good stuff. ::sigh:: But as a student I have to read the chapters, know the vocabulary and do the exercises. My fellows scrapbookers will chuckle at the idea of reading in a book, “layers are a very powerful tool” The thing is that was peeking a couple chapters ahead. I just finished “how to open and save a file!” I need this class for the web design certificate. But I hope the first test is multiple choice so I don’t have to come up with words that don’t start off, “what worked in 1997 and still does today..." hehe

The XML class is pretty cool, all new stuff, well, newish, different code, but similar in many ways to HTML. I just like writing code and opening it a browser to see a cool page. It’s like unwrapping and unveiling a present.

I’m doing better and better in therapy, but sorer and sorer outside of therapy. I try, I really try, to NOT take the super-charged ibuprofen prescription I have, but it doesn’t do any good. I do the therapy stretching exercises at home, they actually can be hard to get started, but then they feel so good! Still, I can’t function well without the anti-inflammatory effect of the ibuprofen and forget about trying to sleep without it. I hate that, feeling like a junkie, gotta have my drugs! Tomorrow afternoon I’ll be going to the hospital for an MRI on my back. About time, huh? It’s really a toss-up with me whether I dislike drugs or health insurance companies more. We’ll see what happens after the MRI If the insurance company okays fixing me, the drugs are worse. The insurance company might even be deemed good if they okay surgery or whatever it takes to make me okay. I don’t know if one can get addicted to ibuprofen, but I’m fearing addiction because it’s something I’ve had to take every day for the last 6 weeks. Too much!

Okay, let’s finish this blog off on a happier note, shall we? I’ve been working hard on scrapbook pages, Lots of templates used, even one quick page. Yes, I do Darlene’s Clutter It challenge at The Studio every month and I have used a couple clutter-it kits, but this one was a freebie page:

Credits: QP by Pixiepics & Scraps, using Snow Princess by Rainamoon Scraps

(Click name in credits to go to blog for QP)

Isn’t it cool? I seldom use quick pages and I always doctor them up. But this one just struck me as perfect for these photos and the only thing I added to the layout was journaling. I had originally done a layout for these photos at the Monday Night Chat with Ambowife at The Studio. It was the “paper-only” layout. I liked my layout from chat, but Pixiepics’ quick page was just better. It was there for me to find. Needed to find it!

I am getting a couple or three done a day. I’ll finish up Kelly’s visit in early October tonight. Then 7 more to finish the month. Yes, I know. Today is January 20. I hope to have all my Imaging homework done by tomorrow night. I’ll be huffing and puffing, but I still think I can get 2010 done by the end of the month.

Okay, now back to school. I’m learning how to find a file using the browse button!

Roller Coaster

That’s what this weekend has been. Friday was the sad news that Kendal had passed, a pain that will grow this week as funeral arrangements are made in Michigan for an incredible 17-year-old girl who brought a community together in support and hope. My Aunt and Uncle arrived from San Marino and Dave and I both have plans to get back to the Motherland with our families. It will be a sad time for the great loss in our family, but a time to Celebrate Kendal’s life and all she accomplished, the inspiration she was to so many, in her too short life.

Friday evening I got a private message that was addressed to me and a few friends that are former coworkers. When I was the Public Access Coordinator and Local Sports Producer at Omnicom/Continental Cable in Michigan, I shared my office space with the Local Origination Coordinator. The two coordinator positions were equal in department stature and, as was true with all the department, we worked as crew on many of each other’s productions. The LO Coordinator I worked with the longest, and whose company I enjoyed both as a coworker and as a friend after work, was Tom Scallen.

Tom and I worked on many major productions together, notable I directed Fall Festivals in Plymouth, Michigan that he produced and he was the commentator on several of my sports productions, including the big Red Wing Alumni hockey game I did, a benefit for a local high school student with cystic fibrosis. That game we did play by play with my brother doing color. He’d been on a train adventure a group of us took to Chicago for a Cubs/Braves game and the Monet exhibit at the art museum. After I left in 1996 and many of the family we were in local programming had gone other ways, we had a sort of reunion at Tom’s wedding to his wife, Theresa, who he’d met at Continental where she worked for one of the other departments.

Theresa and I are Facebook friends. The message sent to our group was from her. She apologized for sending her message as an internet correspondence, but she didn’t have current phone numbers for us. Last Wednesday, Tom passed away suddenly after a bout with pneumonia. I was shocked. Tom was 42.


Saturday David and I took Baggle in for a re-check on an infection he had. He is much improved from earlier in the week when we initially took him in. We have to continue the arduous task of giving him pills he hates twice a day. His doctor made it look so easy. At least he enjoys the sip of milk he gets after “cat torture.”

David worked on Saturday and I pretty much let myself shut down a little. I had originally planned to scrap all day while David was at work, but I wasn’t in the mind to scrap. After the shooting of Congresswoman Giffords, I spent the day bouncing between CNN, facebook and Team Kendal, rereading notes and pondering the senselessness of so much of the world. It was not my usual happy day, my usual ability to see a good side was lost. I had reached the bottom of the valley and it was feeling like the carnival car was stuck!

Today was a sunny day and David was going out to find some trains to photograph in the sun and snow. I joined him. I wanted to get away from information about anything for a day to center myself again. We ended up spending the day in Canada in the Chatham area. A little after one, my phone rang. It was a volunteer from Paws and Whiskers.

The first thing that hit my mind, my part still sore from the last couple of days mind, was, “Oh no, please don’t tell me anything happened to Lacey.” As you’ll recall, Lacey is the cat we sponsored in June who was still living at the shelter, in a cage. After living in the shelter for such a long time, cats , any domestic animal, can become depressed and antisocial. They can become afraid of people, perhaps the fear that they’ll pet them and cuddle them and not take them home either. This is why I prefer not to go visit the cats I sponsor too often, I start feeling guilty. I feared she’d become so depressed she’d gotten sick, or worse.

Well, something indeed DID happen to Lacey. She found a forever home! At the end of last week, while so much pain was happening in my world, little Lacey met a new Mommy! Ladonna, the volunteer I spoke with, told me that Lacey had become so skittish and shy, but she warmed up to the woman she met and relaxed when they were in the visiting room. The woman was widowed and seeking a furry companion to share her home. Lacey went home with her that day.

Oh, the power of pets. When Azreal came to live in our home, not long after Noni passed, she was a tonic to my Pop, who was emotionally weary after taking care of his mother in her last days. Now, Lacey is going to offer companionship and comfort to her new Mom. And the both of them have given a ray of hope, of love, that saved me from the depression I’m not at all accustomed to. I’m usually the one who is the rock that offers the soothing words, even through my own pain. Thanks to Lacey and her new Mom, that flame in me has been fanned and I know in the days and weeks ahead I can offer some words of comfort to Tom’s wife and the strength and love my cousin’s family will need me to be able to quietly offer too.

After I got off the phone and shared with David what he knew from hearing my half of the conversation, that Lacey found a forever home, with a big smile on my face, I said, “Time to sponsor a new cat!”

He smiled back and said, “Yes it is!”


Tonight I say a prayer for Kendal and for Tom, for their families and for the victims and families of the Tucson shooting and for our country. May we find cures for diseases that steal our youth and their potential from us all. May we find ways to detect medical complications and be able to reverse them before they take us from our loved ones when we’re in our prime. May we find a way to keep weapons away from incoherent fanatics, fanatics of any kind, who are not able to voice opinions in a civilized way and resort to heinous acts that include nine-year-old girls in their video-game-like scores. Let’s all be human beings first and think about religion and politics later, respect as we want to be respected.

And last, let’s open out hearts and homes to cats and dogs in shelters. They become the most loyal and loving companions and that unconditional love makes a huge difference, for everyone involved.

God bless everyone who is suffering tonight. And God bless Lacey and her new Mom.

Links

Team Kendal
Kendal’s Inspirational journey of strength and courage

The obituary for Tom Scallen

Paws and Whiskers

Sad Day For Our Family

I saw snow falling today after I found out you’d left us.
I know it was the angels dropping
feathers from their own wings
to give you a soft path to Heaven to join them.
Kendal, you will always be one of the strongest
and most beautiful people I’ve known.

We sent a new angel to Heaven early this afternoon. Kendal’s Facebook page and the Team Kendal Blog have become cyber shrines where friends are leaving their goodbyes. That one was mine.

Please keep my cousin and his wife and son, our whole family in your prayers.

Crunch Time

Can you believe Christmas Day is a week from today? So much yet to do!

First of all, the biggest road bock to celebrating this year has not only been taken down, but turned into a cause to cautiously celebrate. My cousin’s daughter, Kendal, has been in Minnesota, with her folks, getting some aggressive chemo for leukemia. That has been a scary and overwhelming story in our family this year. Kendal is only 16 and it’s her second time battling this damn disease. Yes, I said damn disease. Cancer took both of my grandparents on my Dad’s side, our Dads' side, so it’s a scary, haunting disease, I don’t know that John, my cousin, remembers Nono but he and Noni were very close. Kendal beat leukemia at 4 years olds and no one, especially a kid, should ever have to beat it twice. After a few very scary weeks, the word from John and wife, Heather, on their updates is that the cancer is in remission! It was a happy day yesterday. John’s title on his update post on the Team Kendal website yesterday was “Tears of Joy” and you can believe I was crying them with him as I read the optimistic news! Kendal is truly an amazing and strong young woman!

My cousin and his daughter, Kendal.
She's one of the srtrongest people I know.

I think the good news yesterday just charged my Christmas spirit. I had been going through the motions as far as cleanup and getting ready for the holiday. Yesterday I got some actual work done and put together my scheduling lists for baking. I usually have that ready weeks in advance!

David has a cold and when he came home from work, late as is often the case on Fridays, he was just beat. We were going to finish the living room cleanup and put up the tree last night, but that got postponed to hopefully a healthier David, or at least until I can rest up all the stuff that was pretty sore by the end of the day. My list includes baking two of my traditional threats, Krisp Kringles and Mr. Goodcookies, macaroons and a reduced calorie chocolate-peanut butter crisp candy for this year.

One of last year's crostadas.

Of course, I’ll be doing crostadas. One for my cousin, Lisa, who hosts the family party on Christmas Eve, one for Dad, 2 for Dave so he can take one to the family party on Christmas Day for Laura’s family and they can have one at home (apricot, which Tori says she’ll eat all of) and 2 that stay here for UNO and for David and me. I’m trying a couple “just fruit” spreads this year and a chocolate hazelnut one with Nutella spread.

Tori and Rina will be here for UNO this year! I’m happy about that and I know they’re excited too. I’m meeting Dave in Fort Wayne for breakfast on the 26th and bringing the girls home with me. Then the UNO party is at 5. They are excited to see friends they haven’t seen in a few years. Friends who have known them since they were babies who said, “What? Sixteen, not possible!” last year when I was taking about their birthday bash. I’m also planning some other fun stuff while they’re here before I take them up to Pop’s for their annual trek to Frankenmuth for New Years Eve

I slipped on my scrap page a day yesterday. I got the last pages for Summerail stared, so maybe if I finish the 2-pager tonight, I’ll have 2 done. I’m in August now, so I’m in decent shape to meet my end of January goal to have 2010 finished.

Okay, now I need coffee and to get this day started!

Links:

Team Kendal

Davinities recipes at Simply Davlicious