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The Chronicles of Nani On Video

I am overcoming my inability to type with my ability to talk (and talk and talk and talk) I'll be posting a video every week on my YouTube channel. I'll be posting those videos here too along with an occasional regular blog in the mix. (As long as my hands are up to doing the extra typing.)

You'll be able to watch the videos here, but I encourage you to stop by my channel at YouTube once I'm up and running to follow me and get my numbers started!


Welcome to my coffee shop in Cyber Space
Try the latte with a slice of black forest cake!


Contact Nani at
chroniclesofnani@gmail.com

Showing posts with label art-journal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label art-journal. Show all posts

Friday, September 4, 2020

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Weekend Playlist

Music is actually quite important in my world. Don't read too much into my song library, accept it that, like that library, I'm a very eclectic person. I like so many different kinds of music and individual songs for so many different reasons. Sometimes it's the mood the music puts me in, or the beat when I feel like dancing, sometimes the words strike a chord, or it’s the memory of the event or person.

I can truly enjoy music from a variety of genres at a time. That's something that David doesn't understand and sometimes it makes him a little nuts. (he he)


Here is a five song section from my entire music library on shuffle for this weekend:

Fireball, Pitbull
Before He Cheats, Carrie Underwood
Heaven and Hell, Black Sabbath
Chains, Nick Jonas
Hero, Family of the Year


Hero inspired an art journal I did a few years ago. It was on the playlist I was listening to when I was meditating for relaxation. As I reached the point in the meditation where I was relaxed and I was no longer controlling the images in my mind but letting them control me, I saw myself sitting around the bonfire on the beach with a bunch of people I didn't know. I walked to the beach and started to dance.


Meditation, whether it's to the spoken word or music, became important me back in 1990. Specifically it was listening to a self hypnosis tape at bedtime on June 12, 1990. On June 13 I woke up and didn't have a cigarette. In fact on June 13 this year I acknowledged 28 years since I smoked. I'm not at all saying that quitting a vice is that easy. I truly believe that you have to really want to quit for yourself and then you use the crutch that's best for you. Meditation worked for me and introduced me to fast and deep relaxation that got me through 2 intense years of classes at 3 different campuses and 3 different part-time jobs to Finish earning my bachelors degree. And now I find it's a wonderful way to relax and let my own brain make me feel a little more positive on my worst days.

I'm not saying it works every time, but when it does it's a wonderful thing.

I'd never seen the official video for Hero until I decided to watch it before writing this blog. I laughed at how different my art journal page and the video interpret the song. But I enjoyed the video because I love watching bull riding!




Tuesday, November 17, 2015

I Think I Got It Tough?

I’ve been very self-involved the past few weeks. I haven’t shared a lot because I’ve sorta been in a serious dark spot for me and I don’t want to share that in case it’s contagious. Hey, I’m serious there. I know a smile or a laugh can be passed on when someone is feeling low and I’ve experienced someone else’s bad mood sucking the life out of my mood. Anyone who cohabitates with their significant other or even a platonic best friend knows what I mean, you’ve felt it first hand. Its part of the emotional connection. But as much as strong happiness can put a dance in a stranger’s step when they walk by, a very dark brood can push that same stranger into traffic.

I was sorting through my art journals and I decided the MS art journal pages should be their own book instead of throwing them in my main scrapbooks in chronological order. They express an area of my creativity that I want to keep in its own compartment, I’m not ashamed of it at all. I think it’s good and it’s great therapy. It’s just that it’s very dark compared to most of my scrapping and certainly compared to the parts of my world that I want to preserve.

While pulling out folders, I came across this page I did in September.


Ghost From The Past
Credits: Distressed and This Can’t Be Happening by Created by Jill Scraps, 
When Skies Are Gray by Ginger Bread Ladies

Who we are and who we will always be is a work of art itself. Ideally, it’s a work we love being and others appreciate it too. That work of art is a combination of everything and everyone who has touched our lives. Because we’re always being “painted” or “sculpted” with a stroke here or smoothing out there by different artists we are ever-changing works. Everything we see, every life we touch, leaves a little and takes a little.

The woman represented by this page was very real and although we never spoke a word to each other, I don’t recall ever even making eye contact with her, she left an impression on me. She is one of the artists who added a few strokes to who I am today. I find myself thinking of her a lot as I struggle through the especially trying times.

When I was a young adult, I often went to a bar/concert theater with friends in a rough part of Detroit. They had the local bands and hard rock and heavy metal bands that weren’t big enough to book arenas when they toured, but they could sell out a downtown concert bar. It was festival seating and for the big concerts it was common for there to be a line going around the building before the doors opened of young people, mostly from the suburbs. Safety in numbers, it was a party atmosphere with plenty of six-packs and wine coolers, talking, flirting and getting to know strangers.

She lived there, in those rough streets. To the quiet woman, concert nights were working nights, collecting the empty beer and wine cooler bottles which were worth a dime apiece in Michigan. Sometimes she had a cart, but usually it was a plastic shopping bag or two that she collected her dimes in. It was the unwritten and unspoken rule that she never spoke to us and we never spoke to her. When anyone finished a bottle or can when in line, they left the empty on the sidewalk where she could reach it. The only time anyone ever heard her voice was the occasional time someone would get an extra hamburger at McDonalds and leave it with the beer can. She took the burger and said “thank you.”

She was ragged, dirty and didn’t smile, but she didn’t let her lot in life completely destroy her either. She didn’t panhandle, she collected bottles. Altruistically, she cleaned up after the kids for her payday. The piece of her that she left with me was pride and determination. She left me her dignity and the knowledge that despite the standards I’ve given myself, that dignity is much deeper than a credit score or clean hair. I am able to feel good about the little victories because they are MY victories. Every time I use a bag to move something because I only have one free hand, or lament at my ”Snape hair” or that I was too weak to shower and “smell like a bag-lady,” her image comes to my mind. It might get better, it might not. But as long as I do the best I can and never stop trying today, I can still grasp an ounce of pride, of dignity, even on my worst days.

It was over 25 years ago that the unnamed woman touched my life every couple weeks. The rough life in the streets tells me she’s probably gone. But she is not at all forgotten.

Monday, September 7, 2015

The Art of Pain


I’ve mentioned before that I do Art Journaling as my own therapy for the times when the MS feels like it’s controlling more of my world than I can handle. It really does help too. When I'm having a meltdown, when the tears and agony of what I can’t do is taking over emotionally, I feel compelled to create. I have sat in front of the computer creating a page at 2AM because I’m so wound up I can’t sleep. I can physically feel when the page is done. It’s hard to describe but I feel the tension release and finishing a page makes me feel good. It’s kinda like taking a drug that kicks in and you instantly feel better.

I did this page last week after an hours-long meltdown when I was unable to get out of my wheelchair to pull myself into the bathroom.

I’m A Mess
Credits: Life Aint Always Beautiful by LJS Designs, Melancholy by
Connie Prince, Distressed by Created by Jill Scraps

I knew the page was complete when the tension in my neck and shoulders disappeared. It felt like a vice just lifted off them and I relaxed. Art as almost a spiritual experience sounds strange, but that really is what happens for me. It’s kinda cool.

Like I’ve said before, art journaling is personal, at least for me it is. It’s like poetry. It has great meaning to the person who creates it. It might mean something totally different to someone looking at it and that’s okay; it’s what art is about. You may read a poem or look at a work of art and get a different meaning than the artist/writer expressed, but for the viewer art is not about feeling what the artist was feeling, it’s feeling what you feel. You’re not supposed to experience the artist’s feelings, but join the artist in experiencing the work of art.

If a work doesn’t move you or have any meaning to you, it doesn’t mean it’s bad or not art. It just isn’t for you. That’s oaky too.

Now I’ll share art that I probably get a very different feel from than was intended. I also have a little smile and snicker as my blog is probably the only place you’ll ever see one of my art journal pages and a Salvador Dali painting displayed in the same place.

Dali is best known for his 1931 work, The Persistence of Memory.

The Persistence of Memory, Salvador Dali, 1931

But when I saw his painting, Woman with a Head of Roses, done in 1935, I saw my legs!

Woman with a Head of Roses, Salvador Dali, 1935

Last week I met my spasticity specialist at Cleveland Clinic. He asked me to describe what my legs feel like and I told him the Dali painting described my legs better than I can with just words. Those are my legs. The left leg feels almost dead and deformed and the right leg feels like the draped fabric represents the muscles and tendons, weak and just hanging. The weakness feels just like that.

Before anyone freaks out about the description, it represents the weakness and frustrated emotional pain; the kind of pain that comes and goes. My legs do pretty much always match the Woman with a Head of Roses description but I don’t always feel the frustration and fear of that face in the back of the painting! And when I do I create works like that one at the top of this entry to quell the powerful dark feelings.

And there is my relationship of art and pain, Nani and Dali.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Vacation Time Woes

David and I were supposed to leave on our June vacation Saturday morning but we are still in Toledo. There are lots of issues from a rainy forecast to a 911 call, or two.

The really rainy forecast means the natural light won’t be good for train photographs, there is a higher possibility minor league games would be rained out or delayed and my barometric body will ache more! That’s not such a matter because after a couple of failed attempts at getting in the shower last weekend. One of the EMTs was there for both the call where the transfer chair broke and I needed help transferring to my manual wheelchair Friday night and then on Sunday when I actually belly flopped in the hallway getting up that last step. He mentioned an Aunt with knee problems that mimic the hyperextension and foot drop I have and commented that our stairs and bathroom setup was dangerous. After Sunday he also suggested that we should give up the thought of me being upstairs at all. He’s right, but the shower is upstairs!

My dad started the plan to turn the extra room off our kitchen, that we use for mostly storage now, into an accessible bathroom with a roll-in shower in March. That’s still a couplafew months in the future and it’s not my intention to wait that long for a shower!! We went to a local hotel with a good roll-in for a night and I got a good shower, but I really had to admit that the hotel bed lacked the back support for a decent night’s sleep and I dreaded the thought of folding into the car all week.

So here’s the deal: The bad weather means David got to go play in a couple of poker tournaments at the local casino. That’s something he’s wanted to do and he figured out that it was about even cost to traveling for a day (except that traveling doesn’t have a chance of winning the money back!) I’m staying home this trip and I moved my appointment at The Ability Center up. I hope they can steer me in the right direction for a hospital or nursing facility that will do an assisted shower on an appointment basis until our renovated bathroom is done. I’m also seeing about a home health aide to help me with some things while David is at work, including using that shower when it’s done. David will be going on at least the last half of our vacation because the time and place choice was to attend our niece’s high school graduation. Emma’s been legally my niece for 6-12 years but David’s niece her entire life! Even if I can't go, he needs to. I feel bad that I won’t be able to go. I’ve been to Tori’s and Rina’s ceremony in 2012 and Ben’s in 2013 and I was really looking forward to being at Emma’s too.

Looking ahead, we’ve stepped up looking at used vans for a second car. Something I can drive the power chair into the passenger’s side and not have to climb in the car to travel would help beyond telling! If the upgrades my therapist wants on my chair happen, combining it with a van will make traveling comfortable again. Keeping my fingers crossed!


When I haven’t been waiting for paramedics and crying in frustration in the past couple of weeks I’ve been working on my scrapping and reading goals. I’m close to finished with “Chasing The Scream” which is nonfiction about the war on drugs history and future. It’s a great book that really makes you think. I’ll be doing my book review soon as I’m close to the end of a fairly long book and I’ll give some of my thoughts in that review. After such a serious read, look for my next book to be a fiction thriller again.

Last month was a banner month for my page-a-day scrap goal! I’m ahead again this month too. I’ve been a little creativity-taxed the past couple days, so I used templates for three layouts Saturday and one Sunday morning.


I’ve done some more Art Journaling, my scrap poetry and therapy.

Credits: I’m Your Biggest Fan by Seatrout Scraps, 
Hope Floats by Pixelily Designs, inspired by the song Hero by Loma Vista

Credits: Twilight by Red Dog Designs, Distressed by Created by Jill Designs, 
Alpha from Secret Agent by Just For Fun Designs

Remember the therapy pages are to get the negativity OUT of me and into pixels! It’s not like I’m going to cut off my ear or anything.

And with that comment my mother is looking down at me and I can hear the heavenly echoes telling me Andy Warhol’s work is "an inspired stock boy." :) We always had a fun running argument about the quality of Van Gogh vs Warhol.


Here’s a recent one that’s not so dark! It was for the template challenge at Gotta Pixel:

Credits: Kitty Love by Kristmess Designs, challenge template by Lindsay Jane

And here are this year’s crocuses that I scrapped Sunday morning:

Credits: Signs of Spring Monthly Mix by Gingerbread Ladies, 
“Selfie” hop template by Dear Friends Designs


I didn’t use a template for this one a while back, but I ended up creating a template based on it!

Credits: I’m Your Biggest Fan by Seatrout Scraps, 
Template by Digitalegacies Designs

Of course, if I made a template, there is a freebie!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/5f0dfkquc84e3g8/Digitalegacies_June15_template.zip
Click image to go to download



Monday, March 9, 2015

Signs of Spring

The notion that spring will come was the picture of the baseball players and palm trees. But now the first signs on spring are happening in Naniland! David was getting ready to leave for a playdate in Michigan Sunday morning. I lovingly call model railroad sessions grownup playdates, like fantasy sports, but trains. I saw him looking at the ground and pointing his phone. I got a text as he was coming back in to give me a goodbye kiss and he told me to look at the picture because it would make me happy.


I was indeed very happy! As the snow melts away it exposes the crocuses poking through last fall’s remaining leaves. Spring is coming! Once the snow has all receded from the flower beds we’ll need to blow the leaves out and pull the straggly remains of last year’s wild roses so the spring perennials can bloom. There is always one last windy day in the fall that puts that nasty blanket of dead leaves under the snow. But my crocuses are my spirit flower. We both fight whatever they load on us to bloom. I think the crocuses are better at it than I am, but they inspire me.

The other Naniland sign of spring is my hankering for ice cream returns. Ice cream is my favorite food group and I still enjoy it once in a while when it’s cold, but more often I prefer it melted into a coffee drink in the winter. On Saturday I grabbed out one of my Giant Latte bars that’s been there since December.

It wasn’t freezer-burned, but there was a nice layer of ice crystals on it. There’s one more bar in the box and then I’ll be thinking about getting some icy pops and other novelty treats. For the freezer. My afternoon mochas will be transitioning to afternoon ice cream soon!



Just As a note for anyone who read that 50 Shades of Grey review and wondered what the canapé knives looked like.

That image is from the web but they are the exact set I got. 3 romance novels a month from Harlequin and they came with a free knife. Get 6 month of romance books and you have the full set. The wood block came with the first knife. I got the books for 6 months to get the whole set of knives and then quit because the books were pretty much all the same and really not good books. I guess I’m a snob because I read a lot of classic literature in my teens and 20s. Now I read the classics here and there, but I read a lot of action crime mysteries. So after the 50 Shades review I guess I’m, a tomboy snob?


It’s a busy week for me this week and a busy week when the weather is warmer isn’t a bad thing. David met me at the medical supply place this morning to look at lift chair recliners. The probability is that insurance doesn’t cover any of the cost of the chair, but my doctor wrote up a medical necessity form to see if that coaxes them to reconsider. Even if the insurance company doesn’t budge that form will make it an acceptable tax deduction for 2015. Since the chairs are not at all cheap and frankly I can’t afford it, David and I agreed to split the cost of the chair. It helps keep my pride and my financial stress balanced.

I sat in a model chair to see if my width of butt and length of legs fit. I tell you I lifted the legs and moved it back and could have fallen asleep right there. It fit perfectly and I think it’s going to have a happy home with us. Well, it’ll make a happy home too! It’s going to be ready for delivery in 3-4 weeks since the chair is built when it’s ordered. It’s going to be a medium-dark green called evergreen which will match our sofa and contrasts well with the Wedgewood blue sofa sleeper of mine in storage at a time we decide to switch the sofas.

One more piece of recent Art Journaling:

Credits: Mostly elements from She Felt SAD by Wendy Tunison, 
CU Window by CJ's Dreams and very old un-TOS papers in my stash

But I’m starting to lose those winter blues!


Monday, November 3, 2014

Sales and Art

David has shopped a couple places for post-zombie sales. Last night he found a pack of a half-dozen Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkins and a box of Pumpkin Spice K-Cups for half price for me and for himself a 6-pack of mini 7-up cans. This is three goodies and 2 talking points. I’ll address those in just a moment.

This afternoon he found a bigger booty in his cheap-sweets treasure hunting. At Target he scored a big bag of assorted fun-size candies and brought me a bag of mellowreme pumpkins as well as pumpkin spice Hershey’s kisses and M&Ms. I’d forgotten trying the pumpkin spice M&Ms last year and immediately remembered when I tasted on today! I can’t figure out why the kisses are easier to find. They are good, but made with milk confection rather than chocolate; they only sate the pumpkin craving. The M&Ms are a heavenly combination of milk chocolate and pumpkin spice. Next year I’ll get the M&Ms from Target first then look for a bag of kisses in November.

Now the talking points from last night: There is never an issue with Peanut Butter Cups. They are always good at any price and on sale they reach new points of nirvana. But, while I thought the half-price was wonderful, I don’t really understand the K-Cups being on closeout sale yet. Halloween is over but it’s still pumpkin season until the last pumpkin pie dessert plate is washed after Thanksgiving dinner. They’re dissing the turkey for the fat man in the red suit again!

I don’t really hold that against Santa. It’s just something else the evil corporations are doing to kill our traditions and take our money.


Remember to vote Tuesday!

Anyone reading this ever get a can of soda in their treat bag when they were kids? I mean even a little can takes up precious candy space in the bag and it doesn’t take to many cans to weight a TON for a little kid. Who thinks of these things?

We could probably blame that on corporations too, but I’m really not on a political soap box today. Wheelchair lady already voted absentee. But I encourage everyone to exercise their American right to vote. If you don’t take part you give up your right to complain. You don’t deserve the fruits of or protection from our government either.

Just sayin’; Make sure you vote – better to be part of the system than to be helplessly run over by the system.


I have a scrapbook page that I did Saturday to share:

Credits: Pieces from; Bumpershoots and Puddle Makers by Cherekaye Designs and 
Lissykay Designs, Chill In The Air collab by the Designers at Ginger Scraps,Ginger 
Scraps, Autumn Art paint clusters by Day Dreams ‘n Designs, Rain overlay by Miss Edna, 
First Frost by Seatrout Scraps, September Morn by Mandy King, Snowball Fight 
elements by JenC Designs, Snuggle Season by Mandy King and Mye De Leon, 
Winter Blues by Chunlin Kathryn's Digital Designs

Art journaling really is scrapbook poetry. There was a specific emotion I was feeling as I selected the pieces to make this Page, as I searched for just the right “costumed kids” to represents the Halloween beggars. That emotion was strong as I assembled the page. I have that page posted in a few scrapbook galleries and on Facebook. I’ve gotten comments but none that get that same emotion from the page. This picture-book poet has no problem if people don’t feel the same thing looking as I did creating, but the differences in what people get out of ”art” are fascinating to me. I’d love to hear a word or two about what you feel looking at it.

Thanks for sharing…and remember to vote!

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Pumpkin, Pumpkin, Pumpkin

If I tell you to grab a cup of coffee for this read am I an enabler?

Welcome October…Welcomeish October. I have been SO COLD all day! The picture up top is my attempt to warm up. Yes the popcorn bag is a little scorched. I put it in for an extra 15 seconds to try to get more of the kernels to at least half pop. A few singed pieces are way better than rock hard kernels that never reach any point of their potential. And while I don’t like it burned, I actually kinda like popcorn that’s singed a little. My cup’s contents are courtesy of my last Gevalia K-Cup. That leads to two “let me tell yas.”

Let me tell ya about my cup! Back in 2012 I talked about the coffee mugs Kelly and I swap when we get together. I shared one of the mugs I’d found from 20 years prior in my storage and it was her obligation to find our mugs this time. She found the flowered mugs that hold about a Keurig cup and a half of coffee. She chose orange for hers and picked out my favorite shade of my favorite color for me!

Now as for the second thing, let me tell ya about the K-Cups and the pumpkin! I'm expecting a shipment from 11th Street Coffee tomorrow...afternoon. I'll be swimming is seasonal goodness, but I need morning coffee. So a desperate phone call to one of my favorite dealers brought a 12-pack of Signature Blend to get me by for tomorrow morning when David got in.

I totally blame Kelly for me losing control of my vices! I was only counting points for the first half of the days she was here before the cookies, candy and donuts…or habanero quarter pounder with Kelly’s preferred 5-gallon bin of fries, before the pumpkin bread, pumpkin seeds and pumpkin spice lattes. And did I mention donuts? Oh I did, but the pumpkin donuts are worth mentioning on their own. And I was up to a latte and 4 cups of coffee a day. I gained a little; thankfully I can’t balance on the scale so I don’t know how much I can just feel it in my shirts, and I’m still on cup number 3 today, but I’m not ashamed of that. I’ve circled the wagons and I’m slowly climbing back on because I can’t climb fast. Okay, I can probably figuratively climb faster, but I’m sticking with this story. She reasoned “We see each other every couple years.” I rationalized, “Yanno, you’re right. How much damage can I do in 3 weeks?”

So here I am back down to 3 cups a day and counting every point of that 10point popcorn and coffee snack. I had a 5-point salad for lunch in anticipation of microwave popcorn! Give a full week and 3 weeks of damage will be gone and I’ll have great memories of weeks I concentrated more on treasuring my friends than controlling my vices.

She’s Got Legs, But Don’t Know How To Use Them
Credits: Broken by Karen Diamond Designs

I've started art journaling when frustration is getting to me and it's doing a great job of getting the negativity out of me!  We'll call the art journals part of my "Blue Period" Nani Picasso! LOL

For the first week Kelly was here she was my caregiver while David was on a “vacation from Nani.” I talked about that before; it was my idea that David needed a vacation without worrying about me. The timing of Kelly’s visit was perfect for that! Kel did a great job filling in for David, well except the kiss before bed and keep me warm which is in his vows, but not her friend vows. In fact I don’t recall that we ever took friend vows out loud. Kel didn’t have his proficiency with the craft of leveraging my legs up the last step into the upper floor of our house. There’s angle and lifting that I don’t know because I’m worrying about my part of getting me up that step. That did result in a couple nights of me not going upstairs and sleeping in my chair and one 2-day stint upstairs after an attempt to get me up to the second floor resulted in EMTs putting me on the bed. Oh, I’m okay, so is Kelly and on the bed I where I wanted to be anyway.

The third week was the one that got my watching-what-I-eat the worst, but I’m really not complaining there! Rina came and spent 4 days with us. She’s my niece, not daughter, although I was there as a guardian-teacher often when she and her sister grew up, and maybe that makes it even more special that she chose to spend her time off with me. She helped Kelly help me and after we figured out what needed to be done they got me in and out of Rina’s van with relative ease so we could go on a couple trips to Michigan. We went to Pop’s house for a great day with him and Aunt Judy and enjoyed the meeting of the Italian lunchmeats and cheese we bought at Sofo with the sautéed greens and piada he made; wonderful Italian Soul Food! Then the next day we picked up Scotty and went to the apple orchard (many donuts.) Then we all met Sheri at Dunkin Donuts and headed to Olive Garden for dinner. Of course, there had been dinner at Ya Halla the first night Rina was in!

Rina, Kelly and me at Ya Halla