I'm NOT Spidermom!

I had an appointment with my doctor this morning to have a “thing” looked at. I had what looked like a giant pimple or mosquito bite on my upper chest a couple weeks ago. “Spider bite?” David teased and I immediately thought about a movie I saw on cable many years ago where a woman had a similar mark on her cheek. It got bigger and eventually hundreds of tiny spiders burst out of her cheek. I told David about the movie, that it might be a spider nest!

Okay, I know that there aren’t spiders that build nests under people’s skin, I looked it up after seeing that movie, but it was an interesting joke with this. The mark went away after I’d popped it and put sanitizer on it, but then it came back, bigger and warm to the touch. So I called and made an appointment. After some online research, I thought maybe a boil, those can happen for many reasons and a compromised immune system is something that can trigger them, or I was still sticking with the baby spiders. I told David I might need a prescription for antibiotics or prenatal vitamins.

The doctor got a chuckle out of the spider theory. He did assure me that there were no reports he knew of about spiders hatching from under a human’s skin outside of Hollywood, but took a culture for testing and said he’d make sure there wasn’t a staph infection or eggs.

It’s a cyst. The doctor said he could remove it, but because of where it is, he’d suggest going to a surgeon for the procedure to minimize scarring. So I left with an antibiotic, not prenatal vitamin, prescription and a note and number to make an appointment with a surgeon for the outpatient procedure. WAY better than baby spiders!  The only place I've ever had stitches is in my mouth.  This will be a new experience for me.

When we dropped off the prescription, we passed the U-Haul place where there was a trailer with Wapakoneta on it. I love Wapakoneta because it is just a COOL name for a city. We stayed in Wapakoneta once just so I could say “I slept in Wapakoneta.” I told David that I’d love to rent a Wapakoneta U-Haul if I needed a U-Haul, but if they brought me the one with the giant spider on it, I’d tell them to send it back. Nuh-uh, no way would I drive a van with a huge spider on it. He mentioned my concern about the spider nest and I wondered of I’d feel differently if I had hatched hundreds of baby spiders. Would my maternal instincts kick in? That would cure my arachnophobia if I had a bunch of 8-legged kids!

I think I’m going to limit my mothering to no more than 4 legs. Those maternal instincts kicked in with a pair of humans when they were babies and a certain 4-legged creature who thinks I actually am her mother. That’s enough for me right now. Hundreds times 8 is more legs than my maternal instincts can take!