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Monday, April 14, 2008

Of Curses and Waste

A man lost his job and a contractor paid for other workers to waste money. The worker responsible for the prank of putting a Red Sox jersey n the foundation of the new Yankee Stadium was the one fred and his now former coworkers destroyed the work to remover the shirt. It’s the epitome of waste, of vulgar wealth.

The prank was supposed to “curse” the new Yankee Stadium. Because an average construction worker with a baseball jersey as a weapon has that kind of power. He can take down an entire multi billion dollar professional franchise with a with a really strong wish. That’s why he’s working in construction. It pays better than run of the mill destiny changing.

Curses work because stupid people believe in them. In Chicago some guy with a goat and a temper “cursed” the Cubs. Who was this guy? He was an upset fan who, when told of new ordinances and grounds rules, could no longer bring his pet goat to graze in the outfield. If he was some kind of magical being who possessed the power to levy curses, don’t you think he’d have had acres and acres to his own wealthy self to put the goat in to graze?

Yet, for over 100 years, the Cubs have not been the World Baseball Champions. Curse worked, right?

I’d be impressed with the experiment proving the power of the human mind. But it’s not a controlled experiment. It’s an out of control hoax. They are people who believed an angry fan was actually capable of cursing a team. It only took a few ignorant souls to plant the seeds of defeat and in Chicago. They have been growing many years with some of the greatest fertilizer around. The curse of the goat is scapegoat. It’s an excuse for poor performance. In Chicago, they can “blame the curse” for any setback. The team doesn’t perform poorly. They are never lazy or in a sump, they don’t have to admit anything. They don’t have to put in any effort. They just collect their millions per player and blame it all on a long dead goat.

Ah, but the Yankees don’t deal with those things. They buy anything they want. This, obviously must include flaunting their wealth and ignorance by destroying a foundation to flaunt that they have enough money to cancel a “curse” cast by a powerful mystic construction worker.

But, I say it wasn’t enough.

I say that if the New York Yankees can afford to spend and go through all that trouble to remove on curse, they can afford to reduce the prices in the concessions at the new ball park. Nothing will cost over a dollar. In fact, I say that until they reduce the costs to that extent, the Yankees will never again win a World Series. Oh, I’m not joking. I can’t stand vulgar flaunting of money for selfish stupidity. So, I am cursing the New York Yankees for their waste.

I have more power than a Red Sox fan construction worker. You see, I have karma on my side. I have the cries of the ghosts of fans who remembered actually being able to afford to go to a Yankees game screaming at this act of arrogant filth. I have the powers of justice and balance in the cosmos behind my curse.

Now, of course, if the stopping of curses is so important that Mr. Steinbrenner will waste money to exorcize a jinx, he can contact me.

2 comments:

DigiLover said...

TOOT TOOT!!!

Unfortunately coming from Down Under I know nothing of American baseball but it was some interesting reading

seamhead gypsy said...

i've never really thought much about the origins of any curses, but i do agree that the reason that the poor cubs haven't won a championship is due to their own ineptitude. it was the same type of shoddy ownership that i had to put with as a boy growing up while waiting for the indians to go to a world series. and when they did, i was an adult, though i was able to enjoy it through my son's eyes.

back to this past weekend.

is it a coincidence that the shirt or jersey that was dug from the foundation had david ortiz's number on it and that mr ortiz has started the season with a batting average of .070? or was that the real curse and mr ortiz breaks out of his season long slump beginning tonight against my once favorite indians?

i dunno, but i'm hoping that big papi makes a big splash in downtown cleveland tonight!!