Yes Nani, There Is A Santa Claus

Merry Christmas Eve and Happy First Day of Hanukkah! Boy, we got here fast this year. I'm sure the surgery at the beginning of the month can be blamed for the things that are late or didn't get done this year. Well, I'm blaming it for taking a week of prep time away from me. I can't bake anymore, at least not alone, and I've been sending other cookies or treats to the loved ones I'd sent those to before. I didn't this year and that makes me sad. I feel a little plowed under by the holiday season that sort of avalanched. Our Christmas cards are still here and will be sent out after Christmas as our way of extending the warmth and love of the holiday.

Last minute shopping I needed to do was thwarted by weather yesterday. How that happened on a dry and warmer day was that iced over packed snow at the end of the driveway turned to thick slush. My wheels slid around and got stuck and the bus driver had to help me out. That was at the beginning of about a 10-yard slush field. After backing me out I had to refuse the ride since we agreed there was no way I could get to the bus. I had asked David about making that trip after dinner. We had planned to go out to acknowledge our anniversary last night, but a combination of that slush on the wheelchair van, rediscovering that the old wheelchair, which is lower and fits at restaurant tables, is the "old" wheelchair because the seat is too short and is the reason why my hips are painfully twisted (they're worse now and it hurts more) and to top it off it was raining, cancelled the dinner plans too.

It's been a challenging Holiday season for me this year.

But there are many good things too.

For the surgical procedure to have happened at all it meant the blood pressure problem that saw it rescheduled in November is under control It was successful with no complications and visiting nurse says healing well.

I always put funds for a couple extra gifts in my Christmas budget for gifts for friends I don't always exchange with, RAKs, extra help for people I don't know or charity. I don't make a big deal about doing that because it's something I do for myself, it just makes me feel good. This year I didn't have time to spend that, but I did get an "emergency call" from a friend who I was able to help because of not having time to spend it. I gladly accept that there's a reason for everything

I ran out of time but I really wanted to make a single batch of gingerbread cookies. I spent years perfecting my gingerbread recipe to be exactly the cookies I wanted. I did that to my taste, I shared them with my holiday baking, but they were the cookie I made for me. One of my aides said we could make the dough one day and bake them the next. Unfortunately she wasn't scheduled to be in this week, so the cookies weren't made. However, if she's in the week after Christmas, we can still do a batch. I also accept that gingerbread doesn't have to be a Christmas cookie.

I did get all the presents I had planned on getting and I got them all wrapped. There were two boxes that were sent in the mail and I know that one of them made it today and I'm hoping that the other one did as well. David is picking up the breakfast pastries that I couldn't get yesterday and I will have those ready for Christmas morning. I've talked to Pop; there is a beautiful decorated tree to go with the fabulous meal he'll be serving tomorrow.

In so many ways it is felt like this holiday season is just another part of a gloomy year. But even in the darkest of times, the holidays bring out the best in everybody and the brightest of feelings inside all of us.  Yes Nani, there is a Santa Claus; but sometimes you have to look for him so you can give him a hug.